By Scott Johnson
Even though we are on vacation in Hawaii, the world of Bizarre Wedding News never slows down. Although we are braving the rain inside today, the 70 degrees temperature is still a welcome respite from the 38 degrees that Seattle is currently experiencing. So, with everyone hopefully staying all warm and cozy inside under a blanket, it’s time to dive back into the wild world of weddings. Fair warning, things are going to get a little crazy!
We’ll get things started off with some of Emily Tannenbaum’s predictions for the biggest celebrity weddings of 2019. Coming from Cosmopolitan, some of the pics seem pretty obvious after 2018. Take for example Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas; an already big year for Turner with the end of Game of Thrones (as well as Dark Phoenix), the 2018 extravaganza of the other Jonas’ wedding needs to be topped in equal fashion.
Also predicted are Lady Gaga and Christian Carino (who got engaged back in October) as well as Super Bowl performer Travis Scott and fiancé Kyle Jenner. Tannenbaum predicts it to be a secret wedding as well!
Though they got married back in October (in their own secret wedding), supermodel Karlie Kloss and Joshua Kushner haven’t really let anyone else in on the magical day. That changed last month when Karlie posted a video on YouTube, “Year In Review,” which featured some glimpses of the wedding.
Without spoiling much, you get a wonderful sense of the happy day, as well as some of the prep work like dress shopping. Be sure to check out the video to see what was assuredly a magnificent day.
We’re going to take a break away from some of the more happy moments of weddings and turn to a rather intense tale of pre-ceremony hazing gone wrong. You might think this is some bizarre plot from a movie, but it isn’t and it’s very scary.
Before his wedding, 24-year-old Ai Guangtao was being “pranked” by friends, who while inked and being egged, was tied to a pole and beaten with a bamboo stick! To take things to an even more outrageous level—in his attempt to get away from his “friends,” Ai ran into oncoming traffic and was hit by a freaking car.
Naturally, this has left him pretty rattled, but to make things worse—the driver of the car is suing him personally for causing the wreck…so Ai is suing his friends in return! What fun!
In all seriousness, Ai actually had to be hospitalized for a fractured skull. The “friends” were able to raise some minor funds (about $875) to help pay. Though the ceremony was cancelled, they were supposedly “legally married” before! Best of wishes to the newlyweds, and here’s to hoping they get some retribution and justice!
Back to some more light-hearted material—we definitely need it now—this article delves into the funniest vows that officiants have ever heard. And by funny, it also means downright absurd. Rick Kaplowitz describes one occasion when he married to Pastafarians (yes, that is a religion) who celebrate September 19th as Talk Like a Pirate Day. Well, that just so happened to be their wedding day, so wouldn’t you know it they all spoke like pirates during their vows. Kaplowitz also says that they had “two short readings selected from “The Princess Bride.”
My other favorite one I read, though brief, is told by Harris Bloom, who tells the tale of a groom who “started to sing to his fiancé.” Not only that, but he “wanted her to join in!” Bloom described it as a “looooooong minute.” I don’t blame him!
Though much of the world is still lingering on the aftermath of the Super Bowl, a month ago in the baseball world, Cincinnati Reds pitcher Anthony Desclarafani got married. To commemorate the day, he went to none other than Twitter to share the blissful wedding day. Posting a picture, followed by the team’s page doing more of the same, some of his teammates made little jabs at him.
Tucker Barnhart, catcher for the Reds, chided, “it was very nice of you to throw a party this weekend for my birthday! You guys are the best!!!” Meanwhile, opposing pitcher for the Cleveland Indians, Nick Wittgren, joked, “We try to clean up every now and again,” as he posted a photo with his wedding date. Congrats to the newlyweds!
As has been the tradition lately, we are closing this edition out with more wedding cake! This time, an article that delves into the idea of “redneck wedding cakes.” Now, the term redneck might be offensive to some, so we apologize to any of you offended. We didn’t write the article, after-all.
After seeing some of these cakes, you might actually be able to get behind some of these hilarious, yet truly creative delicacies. On one hand you have something adorable like the camouflage cake with the bride and groom fishing off the side. There’s a pun to be made somewhere here…
Another superbly cute cake titled “rustic tree,” is exactly that—a cake that looks like a tree. But what’s even more adorable is the initials of the bride and groom “carved” into the side! Don’t be shy to check out some more of these wonderful ideas!
There you have it, folks! Check back in next week for some more wild wedding news! We hope you stay warm and endure the “supposedly” coming snow storm. Have a question? A story of your own to share? Leave it below!